Thursday, December 11, 2014

Too Hot to Handle

Matt brought the pot of chili to a boil and then turned it down to simmer for awhile. He and Jason, his roomie were having friends over on Saturday to watch the game. Matt’s chili was always a popular request.

Matt made it from scratch and used only fresh ingredients. Nothing that went into his chili came out of a can, package or shaker jar. After cooking, he always let the chili set in the refrigerator for a day or two to bring the flavors together.

Matt watched the news as the chili simmered. About an hour later he got up and turned off the chili so that it could cool. He turned off the TV and settled back into the recliner to do some assigned reading for one of his classes.

The recliner wasn’t the best place to read. It wasn’t long before Matt dozed off. When he woke up later he found that involuntary vascular dilations had caused some discomfort in his jeans.

Matt tugged at his jeans and pushed things around in an effort to ease the discomfort. It wasn’t working. He looked at the clock on his phone. Jason was at work and wouldn’t be home for hours. There was no sense of letting this go to waste.

Matt stood up, stripped down and kicked back in the recliner totally naked. Ninety percent of guys will admit to self-gratification on occasion. The other ten percent were liars in Matt’s opinion.

Not long after getting started, Matt realized that he should have washed his hands after cutting up the chili peppers. However, the climbing warmth, from within, was overriding the heat upon his tender parts as he continued in his excitement. It wasn’t long before the sensation of the chili peppers was actually enhancing Matt’s gradual building of internal rush.

When Matt climaxed it was far better than any Do-It-Yourself experience that he could remember in the recent past. All of the fibers of his body relaxed as Matt melted into the recliner. The soldier went from full attention to parade rest. Soon it was fully at ease and the remaining semen that was oozing from it turned cold against Matt’s abdomen.

About that time another sensation won Matt’s attention. The excitement was over but the heat of fresh chili peppers on Matt’s pecker was not. There are approximately three-thousand nerve endings in a male penis. And now, every one of those nerves was sending signals of extreme burning terror to Matt’s brain.

He grabbed his shorts and wiped himself clean of semen before charging to the kitchen sink. He soaked a wash cloth in cold water and began rubbing himself with it in effort to gain relief. Most everyone has experienced trying to drink water for relief from spicy food in their mouth.

Water wasn’t working on Matt’s privates any better than it does in one’s mouth. In fact, it was worse. Rubbing with the wet cloth had spread the capsaicin to his scrotum. There, it burned worse than on his penis.

Then he remembered that drinking milk would help to calm a mouth burning of spicy food. There was no milk in the refrigerator but there were snack-sized containers of fruit-flavored yogurt. Grabbing the first one in reach, Matt peeled back the foil cover and applied a generous supply to his burning privates.

He was starting to feel better when there was a knock at the door. Matt froze. Then he could hear female voices outside the door. One of the two girls, who was a friend of Jason’s, wanted to drop off some notes that she had borrowed from him. The other girl hoped to use the bathroom while she was there. They knocked again.

“That’s odd,” Matt heard the voice again. “Jason said that Matt would be here. Maybe it’s unlocked and I can just leave this on the kitchen counter.”

There was nowhere to go. Matt’s wide-opened eyes locked on the turned-open deadbolt and then the door knob as Ashley twisted it from the outside. He wondered what greater hell that there could be than having your privates on fire, smeared with blueberry yogurt and getting caught naked in the kitchen at the same time. He was about to find out.

Ashley pushed the door open enough to lean in and called out toward the living room. She saw Matt’s clothes on the floor by the recliner and picked up the faint odor of fresh sex. She was about to withdraw back outside when she saw Matt standing naked by the kitchen sink.

“What the…?” Ashley’s face filled with confusion. She stood in the half-opened door staring at Matt and trying to assess the minimal information into something that made sense.

Her friend, Morgan, pushed up behind her. When she got an eye full of Matt, she forgot that she had to pee. She couldn’t stop laughing.

Morgan pushed past her friend and stood, with one hand on the kitchen counter, hardly able to keep her knees from buckling at the hilarity of what she saw. Ashley was amused, too, but more at the reaction of her friend than the naked man with blueberry yogurt on his balls and standing naked in the kitchen. After a bit, Morgan regained enough control over herself to remember that she had to pee.

“I have to pee but don’t let him break that pose before I get back.”

When Morgan returned, Ashley was laughing hard, too. She had figured out what had happened, from the cloths on floor with the scent of semen, and the fragments of sentences as Matt tried to explain. Ashley related the story, with her own embellishments as she went along, and two girls nearly peed themselves from laughing, anyway.

The girls eventually calmed down. Matt cleaned up and got dressed. The story was soon all over the campus and there was no end to the teasing at the gathering for the game on Saturday.

Matt held up to the harassment pretty well. It helped his ego that the incident resulted in eventual intimacy between Morgan and him. He didn’t mind that. If it became permanent the two would have a funny story to tell for many years to come.

One thing that would never be the same again was Matt’s reputation for making chili. It was a hot topic now.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Paying It Forward

It was the week after Thanksgiving and the festivity of Christmas was all around. Jan had a little more bounce in her step than usual as she walked into the supermarket to buy a few groceries. After over two years of unemployment she had finally found a job. She would start on Monday.

Jan had been laid off at Reamers, a factory job that she had held for nine years. Looking for work was depressing. The last few months had been especially difficult as she was forced to get into her retirement savings to survive.

Down the first aisle of the supermarket she saw, Ted, one of her former co-workers. Jan and Ted had been laid off from Reamers at the same time. Unfortunately for Ted, he was still unemployed.

The two weren’t close friends but the commonality of long employment gave them some things to catch up on. Ted and his family had been getting by on his wife’s earnings but it hadn’t been easy. On the positive side, Ted admitted that, as much as he needed to get back to work, he had really enjoyed the extra time with his two children.

Jan told Ted of her new job but held back on the excitement that she felt. She ached for him. Things had been tough for her but she couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if she still had had children at home. The former co-workers continued to chat as they shopped and they ended up at the check-out together.

The woman ahead of them broke into a huge smile when she saw Ted and Jan behind her. Helen was another co-worker from Reamers. Helen was an old-timer though. There was no one who had been working at Reamers longer than Helen. Even the owners were children when she started.

“You must be about ready to retire,” Jan said to Helen after everyone exchanged updates.

“I can’t retire, Sweetie. I’d go crazy. And besides, those kids that inherited everything from their old man still don’t know what they’re doing. Reamers will have to close down if I retired.”

As everyone was chuckling over Helen’s humor, she pulled the divider out from between her groceries and Ted’s. Only the cashier noticed. He gave Helen a questioning look. Helen only nodded back to him.

“Hey wait! That’s my stuff,” Ted said to the cashier as he began to ring his groceries with Helen’s. “I don’t think that she wants to buy my groceries.”

The cashier started to stutter for lack of knowing exactly what to say. Then his eyes locked on Helen.

“Your money ain’t no good today. Just get your butt around me and make sure everything is kept separate.”

Ted opened his mouth to protest but only thanks came out. He knew Helen well enough to know when it was useless to argue with her. He pushed his empty shopping cart past her as she stepped out of the way. He directed the bagger which things went into his cart.

Helen looked straight at Jan. “The same goes for you, too, Missie. You used to like to argue with me once in awhile. Don’t start again now.”

 Jan could feel her eyes well with tears of gratitude. A barely audible, “thank you so much,” formed from her quivering lips.

Helen looked at the cashier. “Just keep on scanning until I say whoa, Buddy.” The cashier nodded.

The total came to $526.39. Helen’s debit card was declined. If ever there was a look on someone’s face that said, “You have to be shitting me,” it was on the face of the cashier.

Helen was not flustered. “Oh it just hit the daily limit. Take $400 off of that card and we’ll run another card for the balance. Before the cashier could even nod in agreement, a hand pushed past Helen that was holding another card.

“Take it all of off of this card.”

“Mr. Reamer!” Helen had definitely been caught off guard. Her boss was the last person on earth that she ever expected to see in a supermarket.

“What’s that matter, Helen? Did you think that just because I’m too stupid to run the company without you that I had no sense of compassion either?” Unnoticed, Don Reamer had witnessed what Helen was doing from the next checkout line over. His face broke into a big grin. “I’m going to take this out your Christmas bonus, though.”

“Good luck with that. You’ll be drawing a deficient for what I get in a bonus.”

Everyone knew that Helen was teasing. Jan and Ted hadn’t forgotten Don Reamer’s generosity at Christmas time. Other businesses around the area had become such tightwads that they didn’t even give out Christmas hams anymore but, at Reamers, you could do your annual Christmas shopping off of the year-end bonus.

A couple of weeks had passed when Jan and Ted ran into each other again in the local Big Box Store. Jan loved her new job and, especially, the nice paycheck that it generated before the holidays. She was shopping for her grandchildren.

Ted was more upbeat this time. He was starting a new job after the first of the year. Still, things wouldn’t improve much until a few paychecks came in. Ted had his two children with him.

“Hey Kids! I could use your help with shopping,” Jan said. “I have to buy some gifts for my grandchildren but I don’t know what kids like this year. Do you think that you could help?”

The children smiled and nodded simultaneously. Ted started to say something but Jan cut him off. “Please, Ted, I promise that I won’t take long.”

Reluctantly, Ted gave in.  With the children’s help, it didn’t take long to get a few of the top ten hottest selling children’s gifts of the season into the Jan’s cart. Before checking out, Jan took the kids into the dollar section and told them to pick out anything that they wanted in appreciation for the help that they had given her.

Ted checked out ahead of Jan. Jan rang the dollar items that the children had picked out, first, so that they could take them as they left.

Ted had just finished buckling his youngest into the safety seat when Jan rolled her cart up behind his car. “Pop your trunk.”

“Jan, thank you but, no, really…”

“Pop your trunk, Ted or I’m going to tell your kids who Santa Claus really is this year.”

“Ashley and I have already bought a couple of those things for them so…”

“Then take them back and get something else or give them to the Toys for Tots.” She held up the receipt.

Slowly, Ted took the receipt. He didn’t know what to say except, “thank you.”

“It’s alright. Ted. You’ll get your chance to pay it forward.” Jan hugged him. “Merry Christmas!”

She turned and went back into the store to finish her shopping. She had a good idea what her grandchildren would like.